• marieasaolu

Looking for meaning in loss

Recently, reading an article on Therapy today, I reflected on the meaning of loss and how we grieve for those losses.

Each losses are unique and different for each of us, some are more recognised than others.

Sometimes we might be understood, sometimes we might be told to get over it.

In my practice, I give importance to all losses and it is important for me to understand how each loss affect the person..

Making meaning of the loss is a process, it is less about understanding the why or how but more about putting the pieces together, making sense of the feelings, of the hurt and of the hope.

Losses can bring about doubts, shake our previous convictions, change our view of the world. It can brings strong feelings such as anger, shame and guilt. Being able to voice those feelings is important.

Faith can provide a sense of hope, a way forward and a relief that it was fate and that we could not have change it but it can also leave us feeling that our sins were the cause of it or that God let us down.

Being able to process the loss, voice our feelings about God and look at it differently can help to bring new meanings and healing to it.

Finding a safe space to voice your feeling is important, sometimes it is more difficult to do it with family or friends as they might have their own feelings about it.

A group might be helpful or you might prefer individual counselling.

There are some great ressources out there, one of my favourite book about understanding losses is 'When bad things happen to good people' by Harold Kushner.

Another great resource is this website:, there is lots of information about grief and loss and great resources especially to help children dealing with loss.

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